How to succeed at air travel without really trying

Without trying to go insane, that is. I hate the airport. With a blinding, furious, passionate, rage. The second I step into an airport, I turn into a mindless bitch-zombie who just wants to get to her destination as soon as possible. As luck has had it, my life has involved a real metric frack-ton of flying.

An authentic iphone selfie of my latest plane ride. Yay.

To make the whole situation a modicum less unpleasant, here are a few of my must haves/dos:

1.A white noise app

I have not shelled out the cash for noise cancelling headphones yet because 1. They're expensive af 2. My bloody iPhone doesn’t have a headphone jack and bluetooth headphones are stupid. Like I need another object to charge! 
A wallet-friendly alternative is to get a white noise app. I used to use Simply Noise, but it seems like they’ve stopped updating it for iOS. Crank one of those babies all the way up and then you can’t hear the literal baby screaming its head off. You’re welcome. 

2. A dope moisturizer 

My skin is naturally terrible. Here are some choice comments I’ve received from various facialists: “You have the most congested skin I’ve ever seen in my 15 years as an esthetician, wow.” and “You should go to a dermatologist.” So, keeping it under control is an actual full time job. Airplanes famously suck all of the moisture out of your skin (not to mention your soul), so I tend to slather on whatever night cream I’m using at the moment once the captain turns the seatbelt sign off. At the time of writing this, my lotion’s Nuxe’s 24 hour hydration creme fraiche  that I got when I lived in Paris last year that is definitely expired and I probably shouldn’t be using. This tip goes hand in hand with number 3:

3. Drink all of the water

I heard somewhere you’re supposed to drink one cup of water for every hour on a plane. Do that. And if you’re indulging in any alcohol #freewineoninternationalflightsyaass , match it one to one with a glass of water. Not only does this help your skin, but it helps alleviate the effects of jetlag. Speaking of jet lag:

4. Plane Travel + Anxiety = Fun Times

This one’s gonna be kind of a long one, so buckle up.

I’m not an anxious flyer, luckily, but my mom is.  I know that her worst times are during take off and landing, and she listens to a calming song during those moments to help feel better. 

I am however, an anxious person at all other points of my life, and when it’s bad, it’s real bad. I discovered this year that major changes to my sleep schedule wreak absolute havoc on my anxiety. 

For example, last time I traveled with my boyfriend and he had to go to a meeting, after he left I was convinced he was going to die. It took a little while for me to realize, oh wait, that is not a normal human reaction to a person running an errand. 

Then I started looking back at the worst times of my anxiety over the past year, and they had always coincided with trips back and forth between continents.

 I’m honestly still battling this one, but I can offer a little bit of help. 

If your trip is less than a week, don’t adjust your sleep schedule. Of course, if you have a meeting, don’t be all “I can’t come I need to get my zzz kthxbaiii”, but besides that, try to eat your meals at around the same time as your local time zone, and sleep relatively around those times

If your trip is longer than a week, consider melatonin or a sleep aid. I’ve yet to find melatonin very effective with my body chemistry, but something like zzquil has worked really well for me in the past when I don’t feel like being wide awake at 3am.

That’s all I’ve got for you, bbz. Have any travel tips that keep you sane? Let us know in the comments!

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